Vegan jokes

Jokes and funny stories about vegetarians and vegans or by them. :)
Nanny
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Posts: 11
Joined: Apr 4, 2016 3:18 pm

Vegan jokes

Postby Nanny » Apr 4, 2016 8:28 pm

Q:How many vegans does it take to change a light bulb ?
A:Two. One to remove the bulb, and one to check for animal by-products.

Q:What happens when a vegan falls off the wagon?
A:They go to the butchers' and ask "Do you have anything that died of natural causes?"

Q:How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A:I don't know, but where do you get your protein?

Q:How do you tell when a vegan is in a restaurant?
A:They're the person who spends half an hour talking to the waiter, and then orders a plain salad with oil and vinegar on the side.

Q:What do you call a vegan guy who pleasures himself?
A: A Non-dairy creamer.

Q:Why did the vegetarian cross the road?
A:He was protesting for the chicken.(pump fist for more enthusiasm)

Q:Why did the tofurkey cross the road?
A: To prove he wasn't chicken.

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approvalbunny
Vegan Talk Veteran
Posts: 200
Joined: Jan 29, 2017 7:25 pm

Re: Vegan jokes

Postby approvalbunny » Mar 1, 2017 9:29 pm

How do you know if someone is vegan?

Don't worry, they'll tell ya. -- :toothy4:

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approvalbunny
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Joined: Jan 29, 2017 7:25 pm

Re: Vegan jokes

Postby approvalbunny » Mar 1, 2017 9:44 pm

Is that woman standing by the salad bar a vegan?

I don't know. I never met herbivore.
Last edited by approvalbunny on Mar 2, 2017 10:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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approvalbunny
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Joined: Jan 29, 2017 7:25 pm

Re: Vegan jokes

Postby approvalbunny » Mar 1, 2017 9:50 pm

What do you call a vegan post-punk band?

Soy Division

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approvalbunny
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Posts: 200
Joined: Jan 29, 2017 7:25 pm

Re: Vegan jokes

Postby approvalbunny » Mar 1, 2017 9:52 pm

What's the best way to keep milk fresh?

Leave it in the cow.

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SantaClaws
Vegan Forum Member
Posts: 140
Joined: Jan 24, 2017 4:24 am

Re: Vegan jokes

Postby SantaClaws » Mar 2, 2017 12:46 pm

How many carnivores does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They prefer to stay in the dark.

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fooge
Vegan Talk Frequenter
Posts: 34
Joined: Mar 7, 2017 2:17 am

Re: Vegan jokes

Postby fooge » Mar 8, 2017 12:00 pm

How many vegans does it take to... ?

THAT'S NOT FUNNY!!! -- :x

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expialidocious
Vegan Forum Member
Posts: 134
Joined: Mar 9, 2018 6:32 am

Re: Vegan jokes

Postby expialidocious » Jun 11, 2018 11:45 pm

approvalbunny wrote:Is that woman standing by the salad bar a vegan?

I don't know. I never met herbivore.

:)

And why did the poor vegan stop eating severed limbs?
{L_ABBC3_SPOILER_SHOW}


 


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