How you handle relationships where only one is vegan?

Problems and solutions for vegan relationships.
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How you handle relationships where only one is vegan?

Postby Sergio » Oct 18, 2006 11:40 am

How you handle relationships where only one is vegan?
Will you buy non vegan stuff?

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Postby WarChild » Oct 19, 2006 9:09 am

If this is so important, you can always decide for yourself which one is more important to you - being vegan or having a relationship.

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Postby curlytopper » Oct 23, 2006 1:56 am

I think it is okay and I have seen for myself couples whose relationships are quite normal even though one of the partners is vegan and the other isn't. I think the most important things in these kinds of relationships are open-communication, understanding and respect. Without these virtues it will be very hard to maintain this kind of relationship.

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Postby cfRedtwin » Nov 4, 2006 1:43 am

I'm in a mixed relationship. Its good that I get to study the situation, but I do not rest easy in the situation. When we're separate I seem to move in to my truer self. She fasted a bit one day last week, and we drank some beer, and the spirit was nice. Perhaps its to keep me from hanging around the house all day. I do not like to sleep with her because of the energy. I wake up at war. It seems a marriage made in heaven.

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Postby cfRedtwin » Nov 5, 2006 3:08 am

Just figured out I'm not vegan if the female of the species isn't, so we'll be seeing y'all!

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Postby AndyBa » Nov 19, 2006 6:57 pm

I have problems with this kind of relationships... I don't want to spend my money for sponsoring butchers and my girlfriends usually don't get it... so I end up splitting apart. Tried to convert my last girlfriend and it turned into a disaster... Sad story actually... :(

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Postby MomoPeach » Nov 20, 2006 2:25 am

Similar to trying to convince your girlfriend to become anorexic, since veganism and vegetarianism are basically the deprivation of entire food groups at a time.........

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Postby Sergio » Nov 21, 2006 2:37 pm

MomoPeach wrote:Similar to trying to convince your girlfriend to become anorexic, since veganism and vegetarianism are basically the deprivation of entire food groups at a time.........

Or to convince your girlfriend to not smoke, although while smoking you're mostly damaging yourself, and sometimes when you do not care you're damaging people around you, but when you're eating meat you always directly supporting killing of innocent animals, i.e. causing of more suffering than on vegan diet.

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Postby MomoPeach » Dec 13, 2006 4:09 am

Eating meat is normal, in case you have not noticed in the time you have lived on this Earth.

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Postby Sergio » Dec 13, 2006 3:58 pm

MomoPeach wrote:Eating meat is normal, in case you have not noticed in the time you have lived on this Earth.

Slavery was also normal some time ago, now it's illegal.

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Postby MomoPeach » Dec 13, 2006 10:57 pm

Slavery was wrong. Eating meat is not.

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Postby Sergio » Dec 14, 2006 4:07 am

MomoPeach wrote:Slavery was wrong. Eating meat is not.


I've asked you this, will ask you again, how they are different?

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Postby MomoPeach » Dec 15, 2006 5:12 am

That's just how it is! You guys are so dumb.PEOPLE EAT MEAT. Get it into your "I-wanna-be-different" heads. Why can't you just be normal like everyone else? There is nothing wrong with eating meat. Meat is animals, and people just eat animals. That's what they do. You don't need to ask "why" for everything. Things are the way they are because that's how it is. That's how it always has been. You think you can change the whole world with some crazy idea.

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Postby Backwood » Feb 1, 2007 2:22 pm

Nice, MomoPreach, nice! So in one of your previous lifes you were saying something like:

"That's just how it is! You guys are so dumb. PEOPLE OWN SLAVES Get it into your "I-wanna-be-different" heads. Why can't you just be normal like everyone else? There is nothing wrong with owning slaves. Slaves are black and stupid, and people just own them. That's what they do. You don't need to ask "why" for everything. Things are the way they are because that's how it is. That's how it always has been. You think you can change the whole world with some crazy idea. "

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Postby Red Jester » May 4, 2007 5:59 pm

Backwood wrote:Nice, MomoPreach, nice! So in one of your previous lifes you were saying something like:

"That's just how it is! You guys are so dumb. PEOPLE OWN SLAVES Get it into your "I-wanna-be-different" heads. Why can't you just be normal like everyone else? There is nothing wrong with owning slaves. Slaves are black and stupid, and people just own them. That's what they do. You don't need to ask "why" for everything. Things are the way they are because that's how it is. That's how it always has been. You think you can change the whole world with some crazy idea. "


That's just awesome! 8)

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Re: How you handle relationships where only one is vegan?

Postby rawvegron » Oct 3, 2010 8:53 pm

For me, this question is the same as saying, "What kind of a relationship should I have with a smoker? Alcoholic? Drug addict? Criminal? Mentally ill person?

I treat non vegans like people who don't know the truth--especially if they are the type person who hangs out at McDonald's and has diabetes, cardiovascular disease, or cancer. Live and let live. Everybody has a right to live and die the way they want. I don't have much respect for people who are killing themselves. I don't want to copy them, debate them or be influenced by them. I usually just say "hello," and let them do what they want.

Ron

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Re: How you handle relationships where only one is vegan?

Postby HaveCompassion » Oct 5, 2010 9:56 pm

I tried very hard and was very unsuccesful at being just vegetarian while with my EX the carnivore (wouldn't call eating dead vegetables being an omnivore).

We just couldn't make things work having two completly diffrent views on what to put into our body and our child's body. However a good friend of mine was able to guide her partner into a vegetarian and slowly into a vegan diet and he is very happy with the change but probably because he always had a thought or interest in his mind about it.

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Re: How you handle relationships where only one is vegan?

Postby snog » Oct 8, 2010 9:31 pm

Honestly, I wouldn't care how my partner( if I had one) eats. It would be their choice, not mine. The only caveat id have is if the partner didn't respect my dietary choices.

For the record, my best friend's boyfriend is a carnivore. My friend is an ovo lacto vegetarian. We both drool when he eats flesh. Sorry, but it smells great. What can I say? I'm not an elitist ( well, I am when it comes to music; I'm a huge snob...) and I refuse to force my dietary choices/views on others. As I always say, ' each to their own'. It isn't my place to dictate to others...

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Re: How you handle relationships where only one is vegan?

Postby meign » Oct 11, 2010 3:18 am

I think we have the same idea of it snog... I do believe in true love, so if we really love that person we will try to understand his diet as well as he respects ours... :D

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Re: How you handle relationships where only one is vegan?

Postby CircularMotion » Nov 1, 2010 2:08 am

I haven't really been in this situation since going vegan, and was only briefly as a vegetarian. I'm a little anxious/excited to see how it turns out. Of course, I would ideally love to find someone who is also a vegetarian, but so far no luck. ;P


As for trying to convert them, I don't think I'm overly comfortable with that. I would definitely answer any questions asked, show them delicious recipes and make them great vegan food but in the end, not much you can do. However, I wouldn't cook meals with meat or animal products, or buy them at restaurants so...

I guess I'll have to see. :)

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Re: How you handle relationships where only one is vegan?

Postby meign » Nov 9, 2010 11:15 am

does this mean that you are not in a relationship right now? Circularmotion

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Re: How you handle relationships where only one is vegan?

Postby CircularMotion » Nov 9, 2010 1:41 pm

meign wrote:does this mean that you are not in a relationship right now? Circularmotion


Correct. There does not seem to be an abundance of male vegetarians here. :/ Or even one lol

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Re: How you handle relationships where only one is vegan?

Postby meign » Nov 10, 2010 2:50 am

They might be hiding somewhere... might be in a common hiding place... when you found 1 you'll find them all... Don't worry I'll help you with that... ANY SINGLE MALE out there!!! lol

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Re: How you handle relationships where only one is vegan?

Postby Redsunflower » Dec 2, 2010 11:32 pm

Sorry meign...for some crazy reason I thought you were a man! oops :oops:

My wife is a carnivore and I don't mind at all. She has strong beliefs about animal rights and likes my vegan and vegetarian food. So she doesn't eat meat much and when she does, I don't ever cook it. I can't even touch it. In her defence, she has a health condition that is digestive and causes her to lose her appetite (as well as much nastier symptoms). When she wants to eat, she eats whatever is most enticing. I'm bored of telling her how a meat-free diet would be better and she's bored of hearing it. So we just accept each other.

I'm a big believer in tolerance and acceptance. Doesn't stop me feeling superior though!

Moma peach... people eat meat just because they do, and we should too, isn't much of an argument really is it? I wonder why the thought of vegans upsets you so much? I'd love to hear your views. There is little I'd love more than for the whole world to be vegan and animal exploitation to have ended. And for me to be more like everyone else because of this.

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Postby meateatereater » Dec 3, 2010 8:51 am

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Re: How you handle relationships where only one is vegan?

Postby Redsunflower » Dec 4, 2010 11:13 am

I call myself vegan because I don't eat, drink or consume any animal products at all. I think that's the criteria :D

But I can hear what you're saying. And it's an argument you could extend to all areas of your life. Should I work for a carnivore, buy something I need from a carnivore or even allow a carnivore into my house? Is it a separatist existance you're living, meateatereater? I can understand why that would make sense. But it also limits the opportunities to set an example and get your message out there.

I prefer boycotting the big businesses that perpetrate so much animal suffering. (You know the ones I'm talking about.) I loathe them with a passion. I fully believe that if they stopped it and started selling ethical products, people would just mindlessly buy those instead.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. :D

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Re: How you handle relationships where only one is vegan?

Postby GFinCAN » Jan 13, 2011 5:28 pm

rawvegron wrote:For me, this question is the same as saying, "What kind of a relationship should I have with a smoker? Alcoholic? Drug addict? Criminal? Mentally ill person?

I treat non vegans like people who don't know the truth--especially if they are the type person who hangs out at McDonald's and has diabetes, cardiovascular disease, or cancer. Live and let live. Everybody has a right to live and die the way they want. I don't have much respect for people who are killing themselves. I don't want to copy them, debate them or be influenced by them. I usually just say "hello," and let them do what they want.

Ron


Really? Comparing meat-eaters to mentally ill people? People who don't know the truth? I've been eating vegan, and it's a PERSONAL CHOICE. I'm starting to hate all these fricken self-righteous vegans forcing their views on everyone, thinking they are superiour. Nobody wants to hear it, and NOBODY likes have views forced upon them, like a religious person trying time and time again to convert you. So, enough ranting..

I date a hunter/fisherman. He doesn't really like my vegan choice (doesn't understand it), but he does not eat much processed meat, only what he hunts. His meat is as pure as you can get, and has led a fulfilling life, until nature or the circle of life or whatever you want to call it came along. We've been dating almost two years and live together, and that won't be changing because of something so silly as our eating habits. I make my vegan meal and he adds meat to it after, no big deal.

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Re: How you handle relationships where only one is vegan?

Postby AndyBa » Jan 27, 2011 5:08 pm

Nobody wants to hear it, and NOBODY likes have views forced upon them, like a religious person trying time and time again to convert you. So, enough ranting..

I would say even more, NOBODY wants to be killed and eaten - be it human or non human animal.
"Forcing" an idea upon somebody - hm... it happens to everybody starting from the day they are born. Like "It's not ok to steal", "You should pay taxes" etc. The difference is that these ideas are accepted by the majority in the civilized countries.

As a matter of fact the idea of the necessity to eat meat is forced upon us from the childhood. All the "You will be sick if you don't eat meat. Eat meat to be strong. Where will you take the proteins from" etc. All the butcheries are hidden from our views, even on youtube some videos are being banned because they are too violent. But for butcheries this is the everyday life - like it or not.

Dating and living with a vegan partner is The Best thing that can happen to a Vegan. Especially if they love each other.
For this to happen more often we have to actively promote this lifestyle, not only for the sake of animals and environment but for the sake of our happiness. ;)

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Re: How you handle relationships where only one is vegan?

Postby snog » Feb 16, 2011 8:59 am

(quote)
Really? Comparing meat-eaters to mentally ill people? People who don't know the truth? I've been eating vegan, and it's a PERSONAL CHOICE. I'm starting to hate all these fricken self-righteous vegans forcing their views on everyone, thinking they are superiour. Nobody wants to hear it, and NOBODY likes have views forced upon them, like a religious person trying time and time again to convert you. So, enough ranting..(quote)


I agree with the above. It's not my right to chastise some one for not eating a vegan diet, etc. I think that by behaving in a sanctimonious and self rightous manner, a person is only gonna alienate those people who may well be receptive to following a vegan lifestyle.

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Re: How you handle relationships where only one is vegan?

Postby Clenbut » Feb 24, 2011 9:08 am

It is all about a mutual understanding, if a person is in true love, then he/she can change habit of being a vegetarian or non-vegetarian, or both can just retain there habit, and don't argue on being a vegetarian or a non-vegetarian.Love is all about sacrifice so some times you have to sacrifice all your habits.

Clenbuterol

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Re: How you handle relationships where only one is vegan?

Postby Sarahcakes101 » Apr 1, 2011 5:49 pm

I can say from my own experience here that I believe it would be so much easier if you could find a partner who has the same beliefs and diet as yourself. I say this because I have recently become a Dietary Vegan about 7 months ago. I never thought about /knew all the dangers of eating meat and dairy. I never really was a big milk drinker but I did like cheese. With this new information, it makes it impossible for me to want to ever return to eating meat or dairy. I do not look at meat eaters as bad people or anything like that. I ate meat and dairy for most of my life. I know that I no longer have certain issues since I gave these foods up. My husband is an Omnivore. It has been very difficult. I say this because we have 2 children and we have different beliefs about what they should or should not be eating. My 3 1/2 year old eats meat but I have been buying organic meat. Yes I know it is still not good but it is the compromise I have made. I buy Organic milk also. However she usually chooses to drink Enriched Rice Milk with her cereal which upsets my hubby. My 14 month old is still breastfed and eats no meat. She eats vegetables and fruit. Once she weans herself she will be given Enriched Rice Milk or Enriched Almond Milk depending on her age. So yes I cook two meals most nights. I would not feel right about not cooking meat for my hubby since I always have. The difficulties go beyond our house. When we recently visited my inlaws, they threw a frozen veggie burger at me which they overcooked (YUCK), a salad, and vegetable with nothing on it saying, "I do not know what you eat." They never thought to ask me what they could buy/make for me. Yet when they make the 2 1/2 hour drive to my house I make sure my MIL who is a vegetarian has enough options so she is full and that my FIL who has Diabetes has appropriate food for himself even down to when we eat for his levels. We are to go there for Saturday before Easter and I already informed my hubby that they will not be throwing a veggie burger at me. My FIL said he would have me order from a Vegan restaurant and he would get it. I really do not want him to do this every time. I may just give him food he can make for me when I see him next Wednesday. My hubby basically told me that any time we go anywhere it will be a pain because of my food choices! It is difficult to have mutual respect about food choices. He does not agree with nor does he understand. So again I would encourage anyone to try to find someone who has the same ideas about food as yourself and save yourself some hurt, aggravation, and disappointment.

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Re: How you handle relationships where only one is vegan?

Postby Dacite » Apr 8, 2011 12:57 pm

Yes, the vegan has a first hand. I would accommodate vegan as priority :)

In fact, that is what my friends, workmates do - adapt to my plant based food choice. First they say they would not do it and I never expect somebody to please my diet choices. But then they get interested, start having fun and soon after- we have mainly veg dishes.

Just go with a smile, acceptance, optimism, mindfulness and humor in the world and people would be attracted to your lifestyle without any effort from your side.

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Re: How you handle relationships where only one is vegan?

Postby TeaTea » Jul 4, 2011 12:57 pm

I am in big trouble, since I became Vegan I tried to tell everything I know to my boyfriend and I showed him how I eat.
He is still living with his family and his excuse why he is not Vegan(or at least Vegetarian), is that he would get problems at home. but I ask myself how can you say on one hand you love animals and on the other you are not brave enough to fight for it? In my eyes it seems he never understands why I live a Vegan life, and I feel not loved when he is not Vegan, it is horrible when I hear he eats an omlette or anything what was an animal... for me it is hurting, I wish so much that he could live as a Vegan, because I love him :/

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Re: How you handle relationships where only one is vegan?

Postby fantasi2424 » Jul 21, 2011 3:53 pm

can you really hold these relationships? because personally i can't. i couldn't have a relationship with a nazi, a slaughter, a killer or an alchoholic so why to have with a meateater? 1. he wouldn't be able to understand my feelings towards animals
2. he wouldn't be able to understand my point of you for the whole world.
3. he wouldn't be able to understand my dreams and to help me make them true (say, stop farming, make a shelter for strays animals)
4. it would be disgusting to see everyday dead bodies on the table.. eventually i would die from starvation..
5, i wouldn't be able to share anything with him.
i would never be in a relationship with a meateater, (and i'm glad i'm into one with a vegan), i don't know if love for the other person can overcome this burden of meat... and if the love of the one is so big and can overcome meateating habbit.. what about the love of the meateater? shouldn't he compromise or at least try to see the world from a differet prespective with respect and kidness? love can change us, so why not to change for the better?
A Relationship between a meateater and a vegan is like a relationship between a nazis and an activist of human rights!
it could work only if one of them is willing to change or if one of them wasn't passionate about his/her choice.

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Re: How you handle relationships where only one is vegan?

Postby Dacite » Jul 25, 2011 12:46 pm

The only problem is that for the most vegans being one is not about habits but moral values. That is something much more important.

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Re: How you handle relationships where only one is vegan?

Postby akmoonda » Jul 25, 2011 8:22 pm

I find myself questioning the same thing. I went vegetarian a few weeks ago and then went totally vegan a week ago. I feel that it is the best thing I could have done for myself. I don't feel guilty about the food I'm eating anymore. I showed my husband some videos on PETA's website. While he was disgusted with the way animals are treated, he still hasn't given up meat. I am okay with this as it was my decision to make and I wouldn't have taken too kindly to someone trying to sway me to their beliefs. My concern is our son. He is 10 months old and I am battling what I am going to do once he is old enough to eat meat, dairy, etc. I feel that it should be his decision to make when he gets older but I just don't know that I can bring myself to buy these things at the store since I have become so against them.

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Re: How you handle relationships where only one is vegan?

Postby Dacite » Aug 19, 2011 5:02 pm

You can bring up a veg child healthy and beautiful. Once he is old to decide, he will.

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Re: How you handle relationships where only one is vegan?

Postby allaboutpaige » Sep 4, 2011 5:07 am

I've found that talking to my boyfriend about my choice to be a vegan helps. He gets frustrated with me and visa versa, but as a general rule he respects my choice and always keeps his home stocked with things that I eat, and unless we go out to eat he doesn't eat meat around me. I can see where it would be easier to be in a relationship with a vegan, but I don't beleive that our challenges are insurmountable, though we don't have children and I can see how we raise our children to be a major point of contention.

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Re: How you handle relationships where only one is vegan?

Postby Kensho » Oct 2, 2011 6:59 pm

my partner isn't vegan... she is totally carnivorous although she enjoys mixed salads during evening meals... we are getting along just fine so far... we respect each others personal philosophies...

Kensho :flower:

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Re: How you handle relationships where only one is vegan?

Postby anishastrologer » Oct 10, 2011 4:42 am

Clenbut wrote:It is all about a mutual understanding, if a person is in true love, then he/she can change habit of being a vegetarian or non-vegetarian, or both can just retain there habit, and don't argue on being a vegetarian or a non-vegetarian.Love is all about sacrifice so some times you have to sacrifice all your habits.

Clenbuterol

really, it is all about mutual understanding, because a true and honest relationship doesn't get spoiled because of eating preferences. you don't need to change yourself and neither force your significant other. if they are truly committed they will begin to understand you and may be turn a vegan someday.

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Re: How you handle relationships where only one is vegan?

Postby PixieKat » Nov 5, 2011 1:47 am

My fiance and I were both ovo-lacto-vegetarians for awhile, and he actually convinced me to go vegan along with him. Less hassle for me since I do most of the cooking anyway. :lol:

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Re: How you handle relationships where only one is vegan?

Postby aromatic » Nov 13, 2011 4:28 pm

I've been single for the past 10 years and have had a couple of serious boyfriends. Both were meat eaters and seemed to be annoyed by my food choices. I have found that a lot of people seem to be uncomfortable with vegetarians/vegans. Does anyone know of any online dating forums for vegetarians/vegans? I have been using a popular online dating service for a few years now and have only come across two in that time. The longer I go without meat, the less I think I want it in my house!

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Re: How you handle relationships where only one is vegan?

Postby mjerry » Dec 14, 2011 4:38 am

Well in relationships, there always are sacrifices and it will all lead to who is willing to take the leap, usually the one who things he has a lot more to lose than the other.

I have a friend who was in a similar position some time ago and it was really hard for her. She did not know if she would just force it down her stomach to get non vegan stuff. But if that will be the case, I am pretty sure that it will end badly.

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Re: How you handle relationships where only one is vegan?

Postby vpdevice » Mar 15, 2017 11:54 pm

:love6:


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